God Is More Interested in Your Growth Than Your Comfort
Lately, I have been thinking about things that scare me, that make me afraid. My default mode is to want to be in control, to know that somehow, I can keep myself and my family safe. But right now, I do not feel in control.
My house is being remodeled, I cannot even find my can opener. I own two dishwashers, but I do the dishes in the bath tub. My sense of control is that everything is in turmoil. That fear grows unchecked. I fear that the world will go to war, that Israel will be destroyed, that the economy will crash, that I will never find my can opener.
But, God meets us in our fear. He reminds us in I Timothy1:7 “He has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and a strong mind.”
I don’t need to fear political upheaval, economic collapse, world war. He has things under control, and He most likely does not need my help.
When God teaches me lessons, it seems that He comes at me from many sources at once. I will hear a sermon, listen to a podcast, talk to a friend, all with the same lesson from diverse sources. Even secular sources.
The lesson I am dealing with is:
God is more interested in my growth in Him than my comfort and my sense of control.
I was reading an economic newsletter, of all things, when the lesson came that to grow we must have at least one area of our life where we are a creature of discomfort, where we feel awkward, inadequate, not good enough. The secular answer is that when we grow, we become more competent. But, as Christians, when we grow, we begin to rely more upon God.
The sermon this Sunday was on the Feeding of the 5000. Pastor reminded me that the people who were fed, wanted this welfare to continue – I will follow Jesus and he will give me dinner. But, Jesus told them “no” to comfort, to control and ease. Because when we have comfort, control and ease, we come to rely upon ourselves. We start to love certainty and we make this world our home.
I am reminded of the quote by Oswald Chambers, “Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing . . . Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation.”
Perhaps the goal is gracious uncertainty. To know that my day-planner is owned by God. To know that what He wants from me is not organized control but rather sensitivity to His leading. Even when the first step is into the dark.